Dia . 5

   
Hari ni ulangtahun kelahiran dia yang aku rindui.
Sudah 27 tahun.  Semoga hidupnya sentiasa diberkati.
Walaupun jauh dari kami.
Aku yakin, Allah sahaja yang mengerti.
Segala percaturan ini.


Selamat ulangtahun kelahiran dia yang aku rindu.
Aku cuba kuat selalu tapi air mata deras bila teringatkanmu.
Sungguh aku berdoa, suatu hari kita dapat bertemu.


Ya Allah, aku betul-betul rindu.




  

Petanda.

 

Nangis banyak pun tak guna.

Kerja lagi banyak, jangan hilang fokus ya!

Dia dah tak nak, jangan ngada-ngada.

Biarkan saja pergi, kalau itu hendaknya.

Ps.  Mata aku ada kutu babi.  Serius

  

 

This eid.

 

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.

Ps.  Bersabarlah yang membenci.  8 hari lagi aku pergi

  

   

Hati.

 
   

Hati sering dipijak berkecai jua.

Dibuat tak endah merajuk dia.

Jangan berbaik bila perlukan.

Dibuang bila sendiri tak keruan.

Usah dituduh dia bersalah.

Saat dia mula mengalah.

Jangan berpanjangan kau begitu.

Dia berubah tak siapa tahu.

Pandai-pandai menjaga hati.

Hati orang, hati sendiri.

 
Ps.  Hormat, sangat penting.  Bersabarlah hati


   

I Miss You.

Sedih bila dah hampir 3 hari terlantar.  Bukan sakit yang buat sedih.  Bukan letih yang buat jerih.  Cuma rindu melayan kerenah si kecil yang tak pernah lelah dengan macam-macam telatah. 

Nur'ain Hanisah.

Oh Tuhan, segera sembuhkanlah daku.

. . . .

 

   

Kau pijak maruah diriku, kau langkah egoku, kau tendang tepi rasa hormat terhadapku, kau hina diriku, kau uji kesabaranku, kau paparkan seakan teruknya aku, kau layan aku bagaikan aku tiada perasaan.

 

Allah itu adil saudaraku, kerana iman di dada, aku masih bertahan.  Kerana penilaianmu terhadapku, tiada tandingan dengan penilaian Allah kekasih sejatiku. Kerana itu aku tutup mata, telankan sahaja.

- A Facebook Friend, Fatima Zul.

 

Well said o' friend.

 

 

 

Bummer.

 
So . . . .
I must admit that my current lifestyle is waaaaaaay too unhealthy. 
I eat too much, shouts a lot, no exercises, none outings planned, bad sleeping routine etc. etc. just name it.

I need to be more productive.
But somehow, even when I'm always thinking about making change,
I'll still end up looking like this:

Fake fake fake -_-"

Lazy looking, paled skin, unhealthy woman wearing perfectly fake smile with sad & swollen pair of eyes.

Luckily the nose bleeds stopped.
Or else I may end up looking like a horrible fat zombie >.<

Yeay!  You stopped!  For good, I hope.

Till then :)  Pray I'll find something better to do, instead of just moaning all day long.

  

Sakit . . .

  

Perasaan yang paling dibenci adalah apabila aku berjauhan dengan keluarga dengan sakit teruknya lagi terus-menerus ditimbuni kuiz ujian tugasan yang tidak berkesudahan, hanya mampu makan bubur instant bersama perasa tambahan air mata sambil menatap gambar adik-beradik dan mak ayah, dan sedar hakikat bahawa aku hanya boleh berjumpa mereka sebulan lebih akan datang.  Sakit.  Sakit lagi apabila mak tak putus bertanya khabar setiap pagi, tengahari, petang dan malam.  Aku tahu aku harus kuat, harus.

   

Ps.  Anjang, walau apa pun keputusan SPM kau nanti, jangan mengalah.  Mungkin sekarang kau tak nampak lagi apa keinginan kau, tapi yakin Allah dah tetapkan yang terbaik untuk kita.  All the best 

 

 

Cramped.

 

You're giving me yet another massive mental torture, mister !

Thanks a lot.

Pfftt, emo shit.
Okay, this picture is so last year.  Trust me

To the hell with it !

Let's rope jumping a few more this evening, jyeaaah. 

Now that the picture uploading took forever, I don't wanna study Management of Computer Networks anymoreeeeee T_T

Pfft, sissy.

What if?

"The only reason that stopped you from hitting on her was the fact that she belonged to someone else at that moment."

"But what if she decides to leave that guy for you?"

"Will things still be the same?

"Will we still be together?"

"Will you leave too?"

Ahh, what ifs.

Malas @ Tak Suka?

 

Ahh, pagi-pagi nyaman burung berkicau kesejukan ni kenapa la aku tak tidur je?  Matahari pun tak nampak cahaya.  Hmm.  Niat nak jogging terpaksa dibantutkan.  Sejuk-sejuk macam ni buat hati aku pun macam ais, sombong dan tak berperikemanusiaan.  Hmph

Aku tak suka benda yang rumit.  Daripada aku layan benda rumit baik aku usahakan benda tak rumit, kan?

Contoh benda rumit 1:

Kemas meja belajar.

Contoh benda tak rumit 1:

Mengadap laptop.

Haa nampak tu, daripada susah payah sapu kulat atas meja tu baik guling-guling atas katil layan laptop yang dah takda cooler ni.  Ayah, if you're reading this, you know what to do ;p

Contoh benda rumit 2:

Mandi.

Contoh benda tak rumit 2:

Salin mana yang patut.

Aduh memang rumit betul la mandi tu bagi aku.  Dah la kena berkemban, toilet kat luar bilik pulak tu.   Baik la aku chilling je dalam bilik salin je mana patut sambil selubung selimut walaupun dah pukul 8 lebih dah.  Gila apa nak mandi hujan-hujan camni?!  Mau jadi ais darah aku.

Contoh benda rumit 3:

Layan perasaan sedih mengenang nasib.

Contoh benda tak rumit 3:

Online shopping.

Peh peh pehh, gua dah la tengah sentap ni.  Sampai off hp semalaman bagai.  Bangun pagi nak solat hampir syuruk pulak tu, pastu rasa macam bodoh je mengada-ngada nak emosi sendiri.  Ahh memang shopping terapi terbaik.  Biar la aku window shopping je pun.  Ke kau nak bagi aku duit?  Ceh, tak dapatnye non!  Merayap pergi Kerteh sedap jugak ni, pekena muvi satu!

Contoh benda rumit 4:

Jaga hati orang.

Contoh benda tak rumit 4:

Jaga hati sendiri.

Haa yang ni lu pikir ah sendiri.  Apa kejadah kita je kena mengalah.  Bosan weh

Contoh benda rumit 5:

Bukak window Mozilla Firefox banyak-banyak.

Contoh benda tak rumit 5:

Bukak tab kat satu window Mozilla Firefox banyak-banyak.

Lu orang suka yang macamana?  Bagi aku window banyak-banyak serabut.  Lantak ah nanti window aku jadi slow pun sebab bukak tab banyak sangat.  Janji ease & smooth kata orang kampung web surfing aku.  Kalau tab tu saling berkaitan kan ke lagi mudah aku nak refer sebelah-sebelah je.

Contoh benda rumit 6:

Keluar bilik tengok tv.

Contoh benda tak rumit 6:

Duduk bilik tengok muvi.

Satu hal pulak aku nak bangun dari katil 2 tilam aku ni, bukak pintu, melangkah pergi ruang tamu tu.  Lagi best aku tengok muvi yang tak pernah tengok dalam laptop ni dah peram macam jeruk.  Tak pun cari video lawak bodoh Johan & Zizan kat YouTube caro gak.

Contoh benda rumit 7:

Buang air besar.

Contoh benda tak rumit 7:

Err . . . 

Argh, dems.  Tak tahan.  Rumit ke tak kena buat jugak.  Hai, baru balik dari toilet ni :">

Contoh benda rumit 8:

Balas mesej panjang-panjang.

Contoh benda tak rumit 8:

Cukup sekadar menjawab soalan.

HAHAH, okay ini jahat gila -_-"  Takda mood la bro.  Sentap gua tak habis lagi.

Contoh benda rumit 9:

Cari makanan.

Contoh benda tak rumit 9:

Tak payah makan.

Peh peh pehh, ini memang paling mudah.  Terperap dalam bilik ngadap laptop ni bukan ingat sangat nak makan (ceh, ye ke?)  Rumit tau tak nak selongkar dapur tu?  Itu pun kalau ada benda nak masak.  Kalau takda, kena keluar cari makanan pulak.  Bar minyak kereta tinggal 2 je tu.  Haa kau nak isikan? Tak dapatnye non!  Aku agak-agak nak gastrik nanti aku kebas ah Maggi ke Mamee housemate aku.

Contoh benda rumit 10:

Berfikir.

Contoh benda tak rumit 10:

Tidur.

Tapi payah gak, sebab aku ni budak cerdas kan.  Tidur pun boleh berfikir, pfftt.  Ahh janji aku tidur takda la aku nangis.  Ni fikir-fikir macam nak meneran nangis pulak tahan-tahan tak chantek jugak.  Baik tidur en.  Cuaca pun layannn.  Kau ingat senang ke nak fikir tulis entri kali ni?!  Hmph, suka buat aku emosi.  Dah ah, malas layan korang.

Konklusinya aku ni betul-betul tak suka atau pemalas semata-mata?  Hmm

  Dah lu ni pehal?  Entri gua kalerful pun nak jadi isu ke?!  Dasar manusia

Ps.  Ahaha baru sekarang korang tau aku ada masalah mental sebenarnya.  Dems, habis menulis je aku rasa kebulur gila.  Tu ah, bongkak & takabur lagi. Hehe. 

Redundant.

 
 

You're never gonna tell them, aren't you?

That figures.


 


 

Wajah.

Muka aku memang muka food poisoning ke? T_T

Be strong, it's fine to lie

Cranky

Heyyyy.
Notice that new header of mine?
That ugly, crowded, vain much, no art skill, messy new header of mine?

I'm just currently cranky.  That's why
Plus the fact that I really don't have any creativity ;D


Whatever.  I'm going to make the header stay!
Hmmph

Gila, Aku ke Kau?

There are 5 major reasons / factors / causes / etc. etc. why I can't drink instant 3-in-1 Nescafe:

1. I'll run for toilet only few minutes after drinking it.
2. My urine smells like it.
3. I got more tired than usual after about 5 hours.
4. My body will shiver.
5. Minor migraine.

++ some other factors.


I want my mummy's-made Nescafe O!  T_T


Ps.  Alang, I cannot drink coffee sumore for toniteee.  Crazy alreadyyyy

It's a Semester Thing

It happens that now I'm brave enough to skip classes.
Today, I've skipped FOUR classes!
HAHA, FOUR! BEAT THAT!
Like, seriously. OMAGOSH (read in bitchy intonation pleaseee, thanks)

But that doesn't prove my braveness just yet.

Want to know why?
Hmm..
It's because I'm actually SICK!
SICK AGAIN. Yeah, AGAIN!
So it occurs to my mind that it's a semester thing.

Every semester I'll get this serious illness or pain.
As for the first semester, I started to face this annoying skin problems which are called Scabbies & Eczema.
I even have the Scabbies at the palm of my foot.
Imagine the serious pain as I walk *shudders*

As for the second semester, my eczema has gotten worse & forbid me from enjoying a healthy lifestyle such as going on a camping (this is a lie, I don't actually want to go hehe).
Besides that, I got food poisoning & was admitted to the hospital; got injected at the butt & was injected with water after that.
Unfortunately for me the nurse was a NOOB & perhaps she had make some mistake thus left my cute little left hand with a huge & painful bruise for a day! *grrr*
At the end of the second semester, & to make it worse during the exam week, I suffered from a very bad fever.

Oh well, maybe there's a reason for everything ;)

As for the third semester, my skin up until the face part has been contaminated with eczema.
My hands are full with scars. My thighs are suffering.
My left elbow is ugly. My feet look all parched.
How much worst can everything be?!

Just last night, I suffer from food poisoning for the second time.
But this time around, it's even worse than before!
Admitted to the hospital again & was treated badly.

To be honest, I cried at the hospital last night. Everything was so scary.
There was a Grandpa dying & his son kept asking him to 'mengucap'.
I mean, it's my first time ever to see a person really dying in front of my very eyes.
I cried & tried to sleep. Not sure how the Grandpa is doing now :(
There was also a down-syndrome child kept crying & wailing & screaming as a needle was put into her hand, not sure the factor to that.
Besides that, an uncle came in with a 'buasir' & a guy with full body cramp!
The doctor just left me there to 'rest' after they injected my butt & did nothing!

Still can't understand why can't they just let me go off earlier.
Now I think I have hospital phobia.
Still hasn't fully recovered. Thank God I got the love ones with me, which are:

Nurul Akma
- my precious roommate
- for helping me getting through the pain, for being there when I vomited in the ambulance, for accompanying me to the hospital, for looking hard for porridge just so that I can eat something, for the ENO, for the Chi-Kit Teck Aun pills, for letting me to use her bed each & every time I fell sick
- for everything

Kak Long & Fatin Dalila
- the other roommates
- for helping me getting through the pain, for the tea, for the soup, for the support, for the medicine, for the suggestions, for the advices

Angah & Ain
- for the medicine, for the laughs, for the care, for the Nasi Dagang which I can't eat, for all the help, for always being there

Dyda
- the helpful best friend
- for buying me food to eat, for running around to photocopy my MC, for buying me drinks, for looking for porridge for me to eat
- for everything

Aten & Zaryn
- for coming to visit me, Aten for the pizza that I can't even eat, Zaryn for the orange medicine

Mas
- for coming to visit me twice today, for making me laugh again, for giving me annoying yet true advices

Ika & Liya
- for cooking the porridge & for sending it to Nurul

Fiz
- for the support & for the care


And to all those who are not mentioned, thanks for everything.
I love you guys :)
Really hope to get well soon. This diarrhea is killing me!

Only now I wish to have constipation *sigh*


Ps. Pardon me for the boring & crappy entry. The stomach pain is throbbing

Note to Self:

Bring along gums or sweets or anything you can chew on so it's possible to stop you from feeling sick for a long car journey!!


Ps. I'm home bebehs.. Happy Raya.

I have these

phobias... I think


OK. Let's begin the list shall we? :)


Agoraphobia - Fear of situation in which escape is difficult.
Androphobia - Fear of men. (oh wait, this is a total lie)
Atychiphobia - Fear of failure.

Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness. (my ugliness, not anyone else)
Claustrophobia - Fear of confined spaces. (totally, i'll have asthma attack or some sort and panicked)
Coulrophobia - Fear of clowns. (not exactly a fear, just feel like crying when i see one)
Cyberphobia - Fear of computers. (duhh, then what the hell am i doing here? zzz)

Entomophobia - Fear of insects. (roaches especially. i'll scream like i'm dying)

Megalophobia - Fear of large things. (so does this mean i'm scared of myself? haha)

Necrophobia - Fear of death or dead things.

Phobophobia - Fear of phobias. (totally)

Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women. (ish, this is totally wrong. i'm just fine when i look into the mirror. hahaha)


This is actually a boring random post since I actually got something better to do but just plain lazy to do it.
Some may find it new for the phobia names even me!
So, do google them (the phobia list) when you have the time.
Till then! :)

Tinta berdarah

Entri kali ini tidak bermotif.
Cuma cuma, hati rasa dirabak
Berminat pula dengan bait-bait ini :')

You're on the phone with your girlfriend
She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'cause she doesn't get your humor
Like I do

I'm in the room
It's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music
She doesn't like
She'll never know your story
Like I do

But she wears short skirts
I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walking the streets
With you and your worn out jeans
I can't help thinking
This is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench
Thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile
That could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile
Since she brought you down
You say you're fine
I know you better than that
Hey what you doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels
I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day
When you wake up and find
That what you're looking for
Has been here the whole time

If you could see
That I'm the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and
Waiting at your backdoor
All this time
How could you not know
Baby
You belong with me
You belong with me

Oh, I remember
You driving to my house
In the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favorite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
Think I know where you belong
Think I know it's with me

Can't you see
That I'm the one
Who understands
Been here all along
So why can't you see?
You belong with me

Have you ever thought
Just maybe
You belong with me?


Yeah so the clip is a little bit cliche :)
But I've always love happy endings!
The song has always brighten up my day,
for the mean time