How You Love Me Now

So it's 12:53 am. Freaking tired. Today was a very exciting plus tiring plus lonely plus 'miserable at best' plus unfortunate day ever for me. Ask me why please. It's okay, I'll still tell. Just got back to the room around 11 something. Yeah, at night. I am sorry Mum if you're reading this, I know how much you hate it when I go out until late at night, but still, I was just going out for some recreation since it has been forever since I last do sports. I missed my younger brothers & sister so much & I feel very lonely every time I reminiscence the time when I'm at home during the holidays, how eager Fahmi the youngest was asking me to play some badminton with him. So I took the advantage of tomorrow's holiday by playing some badminton & squash in a hall at the stadium.

Honestly, that was the first time ever I've been in there even though I've already been staying at this dungeon for more than a year. It was fun, sprained the ankle a little bit. Feeling sore here & there but still, I had a great time; went there with the roommate Fatin Dalila & met up with some boyfriends.

Because girls are supposedly to be shy around boys, so yeah I was too. Play just a game or two for the badminton since the hall was dominated by boys. Oh and of course some of them are superb hot too! :) Oh well, just scratch that.

Earlier this evening, I failed to step on a stair & fell over. And guess what? I got this huge bruise on my left knee! It hurts so much & make it difficult for me to pray & accomplish & complete my daily routines.

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If there are actually any readers for the blog, I'm very thankful & can you at least give your opinions on my little perception towards the huge human race called male? It'll be much appreciated. It's okay enough if you already took your time to read this long post.

To Aisyah Rozi, please note that I'm not writing this in continuation of your post, to plagiarize your topic or anything. This is something that has just occurred to someone I know very well.

It may be me, or even you!

So here it goes.
How can guys be 'in love' with more than one girl in a moment? Yeah I know girls tend to have over passionate feelings like that too but the term 'PLAYBOY' is much more commonly used than the playgirl. Men are sweet talkers, correct? They can say all these charming words towards a girl but the next thing you know, he'll be sleeping in bed with other girl. They just have this kinda soft tongue & just know the right words to say, the right lies to convey. I tell you, it's very rare for young adult men to be so sensitive & caring & sensible & loyal towards a girl nowadays. Oh well I know it's the same goes to the girls too.

How do you feel when the guy who showed his very deep interest in you this morning; calling you dear, hold your hand, display a very sweet smile that may raise you up into the sky & those & that, but later that very evening you found out that he's doing & saying the same to another girl? I've been through that I tell you. NO LIE.

What is that for actually? To show how 'macho' he is, if he can get as many babes as he wants? To show how girls are easily falling in & out of love? Let me tell you something guys, love is not something that you can make a fool out of. Why should you play the innocent girls' feelings with all those crappy disgusting as-if-they-are-sweet words?! No doubt men are better off as the meanest creature on earth more than women.

Please don't disregard me as a sexist. Because of course, I'm not. I'm mad. Seriously, I'm feeling that certain men still think women are 'something' that they can play with. Something that will not last for long. You make this girl feel very special & unique. But have you ever think what will happen when one day the secret you've been hiding from everyone eventually burst out? Even if you have FOUR lovely babes you've secured with your words & smile but not with your heart, you will of course lose all of them as time passes by.

Don't go round telling your friends that you're in pursuit of this girl or that girl. Don't repeat it to her how cute you think she is or stuffs like that, which can make the girl feel very much appreciated & loved, if you are not actually interested in her. That will only crash all her hopes & dreams IF she IS interested in you too.

Guys. Oh, or is it just one of your way to find the perfect match for you? Who's the nice one, who's the bitchiest, who's the smartest or who's the dumbest to fell into your trap? Is that just it?! A stupid game you guys created? Well it's not fun at all. You'll be building this huge mountain of hope for the girls but the next thing YOU & EVERYONE know you were just fooling around just to fill your past time.

I just feel a little emotional tonight/morning. It could have been because I woke up around 6 something in the morning & still hasn't get any sleep or even nap throughout the day. But as I speak/type, I am sure I am not crappy or drunk or high on drugs.

Please guys, I dare begging you & even kneel down in front of you. Just don't say you like more than one girl & flirt with each & everyone of them everyday & every minute through SMS but you have no intention whatsoever to have a serious or steady relationship. There's nothing wrong if you just confess your passionate feelings to the girl that you like or perhaps even love her!

There's this one thing about girls; they really hate being made as 'toys'. Because when they knew, they'll come & haunt you no lie no lie since revenge is as sweet as honey bee. This is something I wrote based on experience.

Call me a conservative but I still think most girls love to be loved & declaring a serious relationship is very important. Dishonesty is something to loathe! I'm sick of you. I'm sick of your act of concern towards me. I'm sick of your lies when you say you gave no hope to any of your girlfriends. You're super duper dumb if you think I will never manage to know what's in your mind! What's behind that charming smile! What's undercover the flirting eyes! You never know about me. Please, if I'm a friend, you should treat me as one, but not as the 4th girl of your dream! Now you guys know *sigh*

++ Thanks dear brother for pointing out that girls always get the wrong impression when guys are just trying to be nice :) It's true indeed. But there are certain limits that guys should obey.