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Monday, July 20, 2009

How You Love Me Now

So it's 12:53 am. Freaking tired. Today was a very exciting plus tiring plus lonely plus 'miserable at best' plus unfortunate day ever for me. Ask me why please. It's okay, I'll still tell. Just got back to the room around 11 something. Yeah, at night. I am sorry Mum if you're reading this, I know how much you hate it when I go out until late at night, but still, I was just going out for some recreation since it has been forever since I last do sports. I missed my younger brothers & sister so much & I feel very lonely every time I reminiscence the time when I'm at home during the holidays, how eager Fahmi the youngest was asking me to play some badminton with him. So I took the advantage of tomorrow's holiday by playing some badminton & squash in a hall at the stadium.

Honestly, that was the first time ever I've been in there even though I've already been staying at this dungeon for more than a year. It was fun, sprained the ankle a little bit. Feeling sore here & there but still, I had a great time; went there with the roommate Fatin Dalila & met up with some boyfriends.

Because girls are supposedly to be shy around boys, so yeah I was too. Play just a game or two for the badminton since the hall was dominated by boys. Oh and of course some of them are superb hot too! :) Oh well, just scratch that.

Earlier this evening, I failed to step on a stair & fell over. And guess what? I got this huge bruise on my left knee! It hurts so much & make it difficult for me to pray & accomplish & complete my daily routines.


If there are actually any readers for the blog, I'm very thankful & can you at least give your opinions on my little perception towards the huge human race called male? It'll be much appreciated. It's okay enough if you already took your time to read this long post.

To Aisyah Rozi, please note that I'm not writing this in continuation of your post, to plagiarize your topic or anything. This is something that has just occurred to someone I know very well.

It may be me, or even you!

So here it goes.
How can guys be 'in love' with more than one girl in a moment? Yeah I know girls tend to have over passionate feelings like that too but the term 'PLAYBOY' is much more commonly used than the playgirl. Men are sweet talkers, correct? They can say all these charming words towards a girl but the next thing you know, he'll be sleeping in bed with other girl. They just have this kinda soft tongue & just know the right words to say, the right lies to convey. I tell you, it's very rare for young adult men to be so sensitive & caring & sensible & loyal towards a girl nowadays. Oh well I know it's the same goes to the girls too.

How do you feel when the guy who showed his very deep interest in you this morning; calling you dear, hold your hand, display a very sweet smile that may raise you up into the sky & those & that, but later that very evening you found out that he's doing & saying the same to another girl? I've been through that I tell you. NO LIE.

What is that for actually? To show how 'macho' he is, if he can get as many babes as he wants? To show how girls are easily falling in & out of love? Let me tell you something guys, love is not something that you can make a fool out of. Why should you play the innocent girls' feelings with all those crappy disgusting as-if-they-are-sweet words?! No doubt men are better off as the meanest creature on earth more than women.

Please don't disregard me as a sexist. Because of course, I'm not. I'm mad. Seriously, I'm feeling that certain men still think women are 'something' that they can play with. Something that will not last for long. You make this girl feel very special & unique. But have you ever think what will happen when one day the secret you've been hiding from everyone eventually burst out? Even if you have FOUR lovely babes you've secured with your words & smile but not with your heart, you will of course lose all of them as time passes by.

Don't go round telling your friends that you're in pursuit of this girl or that girl. Don't repeat it to her how cute you think she is or stuffs like that, which can make the girl feel very much appreciated & loved, if you are not actually interested in her. That will only crash all her hopes & dreams IF she IS interested in you too.

Guys. Oh, or is it just one of your way to find the perfect match for you? Who's the nice one, who's the bitchiest, who's the smartest or who's the dumbest to fell into your trap? Is that just it?! A stupid game you guys created? Well it's not fun at all. You'll be building this huge mountain of hope for the girls but the next thing YOU & EVERYONE know you were just fooling around just to fill your past time.

I just feel a little emotional tonight/morning. It could have been because I woke up around 6 something in the morning & still hasn't get any sleep or even nap throughout the day. But as I speak/type, I am sure I am not crappy or drunk or high on drugs.

Please guys, I dare begging you & even kneel down in front of you. Just don't say you like more than one girl & flirt with each & everyone of them everyday & every minute through SMS but you have no intention whatsoever to have a serious or steady relationship. There's nothing wrong if you just confess your passionate feelings to the girl that you like or perhaps even love her!

There's this one thing about girls; they really hate being made as 'toys'. Because when they knew, they'll come & haunt you no lie no lie since revenge is as sweet as honey bee. This is something I wrote based on experience.

Call me a conservative but I still think most girls love to be loved & declaring a serious relationship is very important. Dishonesty is something to loathe! I'm sick of you. I'm sick of your act of concern towards me. I'm sick of your lies when you say you gave no hope to any of your girlfriends. You're super duper dumb if you think I will never manage to know what's in your mind! What's behind that charming smile! What's undercover the flirting eyes! You never know about me. Please, if I'm a friend, you should treat me as one, but not as the 4th girl of your dream! Now you guys know *sigh*

++ Thanks dear brother for pointing out that girls always get the wrong impression when guys are just trying to be nice :) It's true indeed. But there are certain limits that guys should obey.


  1. okay, wow. hm.. well, I guess, I said what I've said. *hugs*

  2. mannn that was long. still blm habis bace
    bak kate org puteh tl;dr

    butttt, in some cases a guy are just...friendly and girls get the wrong impression u know?

    but yea those guys yg cam babi tu are dic...err jerks

    nnt la aku smbg bace

  3. aisyah; i love u babe. i just feel like posting something like this :)

    paiz; tu ah. padahal smlm gle ngntuk dh, tp mcm ade urge to write :D it's okay. it's cool enough to know u actually read any of my posts ;) oh aku tmbh apa yg aku ckp kt post :)

  4. wow.. ini sungguh dalam..

    and ekceli, i agree abt dat "some men think women are something to play with" .. sbb saya juga knal seseorang yang sebegitu..

    but not all men are like dat lah.. jgnlah generalise kan kami ye :P there are still good, loyal boys/males/men ... like me! TEEHEE! :P

  5. thank you thank you. adakah anda termakan dalam? jika tidak, bagus :D
    anep knl org cmtu? hmpph bunuh je dia! wahahahaha.
    ok x x, kan d byk state 'some men' or 'most guys'. so rsnye d x generalise lah ;)

  6. ha.. adik, uang belakang tu nama dia radhi.
    ahhahah.. a'a. yang baju pink tu membe satu kos eman.umur sma

  7. hai there!

    Please visit us at

    Banyak baju yang cantik-cantik and harga yang berpatutan tau. See you there!!

  8. usop D. santorian

    pnt aku membaca.

    aku rse aku tk camtu..
    n aku bkn ade pengalaman pon..:)

  9. takpe. aku tau kau takda pengalaman

  10. usop D. santorian

    ni syg ko ni..:P

  11. hmm.. i don't know how to start since im just an anonymous here.. first of all, i want you to disregard all my grammar mistakes when i started to write right now.. and i love to write in full words not short here and there.. sorry for babbling and yada4x juz now..(this is one of my favorite initiated conversations' styles).

    im no good for nothing bcoz i'm 'corrupted'.. hehe.. but i can't help myself when you wanted to know about guys bcoz u're not familiar with this species..

    f.y.i. males have inferiority complex which means they have something messy about themselves, internally(physichologically & mentally absurd) and these make them very such low species on earth.

    even i can't describe how men really are.. their minds are always changing and unpredictable..

    i seconded the way you saying that men always have 'spare part' in case of emergency..

    as i am a male but not truly masculine bcoz i don't deserve the title yet (i'm childish.. hehe) and i experienced the 'spare part' thing.
    it's not bcoz i'm the one who doing it but since i live among guys, i should really know about this stuff..

    okay, like this..

    i really get angered when i know there is a guy being trashy with such a really2 angel, cute, superb, hot, obey and caring girlfriend. this guy is low and petty.. can you imagine when this morning, his a, c, s, h, o, and c girlfriend called him to wake him up in the morning reminding him to pray and be prepared to go to class, he answered the call with sweet voice of him to this (we call her A girl) girl A. after he has finished the conversation, suddenly the B girl called abruptly. he managed to answer the call and you know what, he can say this to girl b "sayang, abang dah bangun ni... yada yada yada.. lps ni syg xyah call abang ye.. buat syg ssh je trpksa bngun awal2 nk kjutkan abg.. abg hargai ape yg syg buat ni tp len kali xyah susah2kn diri call abg pagi2 ni ye..(with sweet voice)".

    when i heard this, for god sake, i wanna puke(vomit) on his face. you know why?? bcoz the girl B appearances look like shitface with shitbrain, far ugly and slutty compared with girl A.

    if i'm there with girl A, i will say this to her>> "fuck me!! your boy hooked up with an ugly slut and after he had took the "goncang2" thing with the slut, he called you and call you sayang.. don't you have any brain and conscience left?? dump and get rid of the boy as fast as you can bcoz u have a brighter future with someone else whose far good and deserve to be with you. look at you.. you've been fucked up!!".

    i don't know how this boy get attracted with such slut and how this girl has been fucked up with a dick..

    poor girl A.. she deserves my sympathy..

    don't you think guys have the inferiority complex?? do you??

    if i'm a girl, i will play hard-to-get with guys (if i'm fully packaged) so that i deserve with the winner of the play-the-hard-time-with -no-regrets guy. it teaches the guy how to stop cheating on girls.

    i could think of that idea only.. btw, be a nice girl and curse only when you in need of it such as to kill the pain (researches agreed that cursing can decrease the pain 30% off as if they have tested on several subjects).

    that's all.. i hope u can scoop any essence of the moral given above..

    have a nice day..

    ahh, one more thing, don't discriminate guys and presume they blindly.. learn about them because love is a part of a battlefield.. learn how to cope and dominate it..

    daaaa.... until next time..

  12. dear anonymous, i'm honored to have u as a guest here :)

    when a very long comment displayed to be published, i'm so impressed that there's actually someone who really reads n gets the idea of my post. for that, i must thank you.

    first of all, it's ok to write in full. i love reading every single word of it. i must admit that i'm not very good in english as well, so pardon me. instead of staying anonymous, why not u give me your blog link or anything ;)

    thank god u realized that SOME guys do that. i mean, keeping spare parts n such. haha don't say that u're childish. u know what, i've began to hate the word childish by day since everyone's calling me that! can't they see how mature i am through the way i'm writing?! LOL ;p

    i understand that situation! gosh. that guy is a d*ck, major assh*le. i know one very well, i mean, we have relation ok as in family! i hate him for that >.<

    i think most of them is having inferiority complex, but whyyy? why must they do such things to innocent girls? are they feeling unsecured with just one girl?

    yeah. i curse, but to myself only. because i'm afraid i'll hurt those who i really love.

    oh sorry if u feel discriminated ;p
    mayb i wrote it too general. i'm referring to a particular person actually, but u know, it's better to keep it a secret sometimes ;)

    ahh thanks again for the comment. love to hear again from u soon

  13. thanks for such a warmth and pleasure welcomed..

    yes indeed, i enjoyed reading all of those stories of yours..

    it's not bad..

    it's hard to get bored reading your delightful stories..

    i'm craving for it..the stories.. ;p

    i think, it's better if i stay anonymous..

    i'm truly and deeply sorry because i can't let you know me and giving you my links or anything related to me..

    don't misinterpret the above idea..

    somehow, i can't see that my trustworthiness is anyone's worth for..

    because i'm being cheated over and over again by my friends..

    if you don't mind, may i let all of my 'heartbroken' stories spread here?

    since i'm here, it's better that i tell you the story.. true story.. it's general so i hope you will get the point.. just wanna share with you..

    i have two acquaintance friends.. both of them are great.. superb.. totally love them.. before that, i want to let you know that my great weakness is that i'm simply sympathy with such stray and away-from-other persons. im pity of them.. i can't endure seeing them walk alone, other people bad talk about them(behind them), jumping into such low conclusions about them. but you know what, i can't let that happens. it makes me feel sad when i think that they haven't done bad things, they don't talk behind others because they are not as bad as we think.

    people tend to judge a book by its cover and done the same thing on the other people. that's low.. totally obtuse..

    so, i take the advantage to help those poor people with making friends with them and change their appearance so that they will gain self-esteem eventually.

    days passed by and one day, suddenly my friends vanished! not because they were kidnapped by the ghosts or slipped into dead alley but disappeared without any news.

    the thing i angry most back then is i simply lend them money.. not 1 or 2 ringgits but hundreds.. they said that they don't have money to pay this, that and those right now with their suffering and pain-enduring faces and i with my goodness lend them money without thinking the consequences..

    most men are the same.. they don't think much but actions are more.. it means that action wins the brain..

    it's painful because i have so much faithful in them.. because of that, now i become more aware and i don't easily believe in people anymore but i can't judge blindly..

    i have to know them before the judge can be made..

    that is why i can't let you know my identity yet.. not in the right time..

    someday, you will know me.. someday..

    so, i think we'll meet again next time..


  14. so. does this mean that u know me?
    and i'm jst curious. where did u get my blog link? :)

    well, i'm actually still in pursue of good topics and theme for my blog. so pardon me if my posts tend to get boring at times

    read your whole story. i feel compelled that u're willing to share your story with me
    maybe bcause i don't even know u, that's y u think it's ok to tell :)

    u know what, i've experienced something SORT OF like this before, minus the money lending part. i know it hurts so bad

    bcause of the friend issues, i lost my confidence gradually. i know there's a lot who dislike me, so i feel very small and as if people look me with disgust.

    my problem is that i'm too straightforward. so i always hurt people around me :S
    wrote about it once in my blog but removed it due to my worrying that people will hate even more after that

    that's life after all right. it's VERY HARD i tell u to find real friends but we'll cope

    if u hv any suggestions regarding of what shud i write in the blog u're free to say so :D

    thank u so much for the time!
    really hope we'll get to know each other
    till then :)


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